By Pontsho Hlongwane. Singamadoda? Redefining Positive Masculinities – Transformation Office
First and foremost, let me acknowledge my positionality before attempting to make any intervention.
There is no better language than what Dr Ntando Sindane has already employed in “Decolonial Musings about Constitutionalism”, wherein he says, “As a heterosexual black man, regardless of my intentions and perceived progressive politics, I cannot escape that I am a Black man, and thus a beneficiary of undeserved privilege over black women and other gendered people.”
Such acknowledgement was also made by Warren Buffett, in the same spirit that by merely being born white and male in a white-supremacist patriarchal system, he is a beneficiary of an undeserved privilege over white women and black people in general.
We ought to acknowledge that the system primarily favours white people and males. Although it may appear to be a “natural” way of organising life, when boiled down to its essence it is about socialisation.
For the purposes of “16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children Campaign”, the focus of this intervention will be on gender socialisation.
Gender socialisation is defined as “the process by which cultural information about gender is transmitted across generations, shaping the behaviours, values, and roles expected of individuals based on their gender within a specific cultural context,” (Encyclopedia of Applied Ethics, 2012). It begins from a moment of birth and to a large extent it is influenced by parents and other societal factors.
Recently researchers have linked gender socialisation with violence, which among others includes gender-based violence. According to Crime Statistics, between January and March 2025, there were 5,727 murders averaging 62 per day. Of these, 4,890 victims were males and 837 females, which roughly translate to 54 males and 9 females killed each day.
The UN argues that “although anyone – women, girls, men and boys – can fall victim to violence simply because of their sex or gender, women and girls are especially at risk. It is estimated that one in three women will experience sexual or physical violence in their lifetime.”
When you look at prison statistics in South Africa, more than 96 percent of the prison population are males (World Prison Brief). This is an unsustainable route for both males, females and intersex.
Something ought to change, and a good many people believe that reimagining gender socialisation is desirable. Although psychologists admit that aggression is part of human nature, they contend that violence is a learned behaviour, and it can be unlearned.
Charlie Munger, to whom I owe much of my intellectual framework, advised jumping jurisdictional boundaries by drawing from diverse disciplines when tackling tough problems. The underlying dynamics in gender socialisation can also be analysed using the principle of relativity in Physics.
It helps us understand that our perceptions and judgments are not absolute but are shaped by our unique experiences and social contexts. In this way, understanding relativity is important to fostering intellectual humility, being open minded and finding common ground to live in harmony.
The second idea comes from the second law of thermodynamics. Entropy, which is a measure of disorder in a physical system. Its underlying principle explains that when left on its own, society tends toward chaos.
An everyday example is our bedroom. When we do not clean them, they upgrade from cozy to archaeological dig site. To maintain order in the bedroom, it takes energy and effort. We need to make deliberate efforts to maintain peace among ourselves, and abandon beliefs which threatens our coexistence. As the world evolves, so must our beliefs.
The framework to maintain peace among ourselves has been provided in our South African Constitution, 1996, viz., constitutional principles of human dignity, freedom and equality. Adhering to these principles increases our chances for a peaceful coexistence.
However, 28 years later since our constitution took effect on the 4th of February 1997, the entropy arguably still remains high. There are still observable numbers of violent interactions among the people.
The third idea, which also originates from Physics called inertia, provides that objects at rest will stay at rest, unless a force causes its velocity to change. Furthermore, provides that the object’s natural tendency is to oppose any agency that attempts to put it in motion.
At its fundamental level, inertia is a property of mass. The more massive an object is, the more it resists changes to its state of motion. This should explain why it is hard to abandon long cherished beliefs despite growing evidence linking them to the perpetuation of violence against self and others. The positive aspect of inertia is that once something starts moving, keeping it in motion is much easier and hard to stop.
“16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children Campaign” is necessary to build momentum for a radical mindset shift in the new direction. Real effort is required to teach alternative norms and behaviours associated with gender.
These alternative norms and behaviours should be rooted in constitutional principles of human dignity, freedom and equality. For this to be a reality in the near future, parents have an important role to play. No one size-fits-all approach can be prescribed, such as cultures, ideologies and religions, which promotes peaceful coexistence should be embraced by those who subscribe to them.